*September 1st*

When my problems seem to be coming at me all at once, I find myself thinking alone in my private thoughts becoming more and more depressed by what I'm thinking. Sometimes when I do this, even when I confide in friends, it leaves me feeling lonely and feeling no one can possibly understand what I'm going through.

Yet, dwelling on my troubles only shuts me in my mind, away from a world that is waiting to be enjoyed. Nothing has real power to deprive me of the delights to be found in many daily experiences - even a routine responsibility I must complete for school or home. It would help me to remember the many things I have to be thankful for.

Today's Reminder
I may have big troubles, but I can, if I wish, make those troubles less painful by turning my thoughts to happier things. I will not isolate myself in my problems. I will observe and enjoy what is good and pleasant in the world around me.

"Let me not deprive myself of the many little joys that are mine for the taking."

[Taken and fashioned from "One Day At A Time In Al-Anon"
for general family relationships by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI]

*August 31st*

"It's a nice day," people say when the weather's fine. One of the things taught in Al-Anon is that the kind of a day it is does not depend on the weather, but on our attitudes and reactions to what's happening.

We can make every day a nice day. Al-Anon's helpful leaflet "Just for Today" says it this way; "Just for Today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, keep my voice low, be courteous. I won't find fault." This is bound to brighten the day, for me and everybody I meet!

Today's Reminder
I will make up my mind to be cheerful every waking moment of this day. I will not expect too much; this will shield me from being annoyed at little things that don't go just the way I wanted them to. I will try to accomplish something specific, perhaps some chore I have long been putting off. I will wear a pleasant smile for everyone I meet today.

"What a comfortable feeling it gives me to realize that all I have to deal with is just this one day. It makes everything so much easier!"

[Taken and fashioned from "One Day At A Time In Al-Anon"
for general family relationships by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI]

*August 30th*

When a family situation or a situation in school becomes really complicate and bad, and I think I just can't go on another day living in uncertainty, fear, deprivation and general misery, I may decide to take action and do something constructive to improve the situation. That's good. But "what" action should I choose to do? So much depends on taking the right course. Let me consider:

Is my present frame of mind, whether of anger, bitterness or confusion, one in which I can make a wise choice? Have I yielded too quickly to advice from friends, well-meant, but based on only limited knowledge of all the factors?

Today's Reminder
If I have come to the end of my rope, I have lived in this turmoil for a long time. Let me be patient a little longer while I weigh the alternatives. Will a radical very extreme change really work out better for me and for my future?

Before I make a decision, or take a next step, I will double my efforts to apply the truths and principles I am learning in emotional growth. It could bring me to an entirely different, more constructive solution than the drastic ones I was considering.

"Make sure that the medicine you use is worse than the sickness you're trying to cure!"

*August 29th*

How many of my frustrations and disappointments come from expecting too much! I see I so often want to be like my friends or people I see on TV. Yet, I am so critical and negative about them and even myself.

I expect my parents to do what "I" want them to do. Also, the same with my brother, sister and friends. Sometimes I get so angry at them! I want them to change, but seldom do I think of changing myself. I must remember to not be so hard on myself. This way I can remember to see the many wonderful "simple" things that come to me in life.

Today's Reminder
Let me learn to settle for less than I "wish" were possible, and be willing to accept it and appreciate it. I will not expect too much of anyone, not even of myself. Contentment comes from accepting gratefully the good that comes to us, and not from raging at life because it is not better. This wholesome attitude is by no means "resignation"; being lazy and not taking responsibility, but in realistic acceptance of what happens around me.

"What you have may seem small; you desire so much more. See children thrusting their hands into a narrow-necked jar, striving to pull out the sweets. If they fill the hand, they cannot pull it out and then they fall to tears. When they let go a few, they can draw out the rest. You, too, let your desire go; covet not to much ..." (Epictetus)

*August 28th*

We are told there can be no progress and growth without humility. This idea is confusing to me at first, and it almost always makes me get more angry when I think of it. "What, am I supposed to be a submissive "slave" to my parents, teachers and everybody, no matter how humiliating it is!!!

No, that is not what being "humble" means. True humility does not mean meek surrender to an ugly, destructive way of life, - that is what I can be doing to myself if I keep doing things the wrong way. It means surrender to God's will, which is quite a different thing. Humility prepares me for understanding what God wants me to do. Being humble shows me how good things will come to me in time when I do what He wishes me to do.

Today's Reminder
The attitude of true humility helps me to feel good about myself, helps me to build good self-esteem on "good" things, not "bad" things. It gives me strength to see spiritual answers to my life's problems.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God . . . casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you. He giveth grace to the humble."

[Taken and fashioned from "One Day At A Time In Al-Anon"
for general family relationships by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI, 3-1]

*August 27th*

An interesting exercise, and one well worth a few moments of reflection, would be to consider the exact meaning of the phrase "to take offense."

These words describe an act of willingly taking into ourselves a hurt we feel somebody intended to inflict on us. We "take" offense. We don't have to take it. We are free to refuse to be hurt by a spiteful remark, or malicious action.

So the whole matter really rests with us. The choice of accepting or rejecting an offense is ours alone.

Today's Reminder
It may not be easy at first, but if I keep reminding myself that I will not permit myself to be hurt by what anyone says or does, it can bring about an amazing change in my attitude and disposition.

Whenever I feel I am being hurt by someone, I will silently refuse to "take offense" or take any action to retaliate. What a relief it will be to have such incidents vanish into thin air, leaving not a mark on me! I will not "accept" offense.

"What can words do to me unless I take them to heart?"

[Taken and fashioned from "One Day At A Time In Alinon" for general family relationships by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI]

*August 26th*

How often I think that when I don't feel good, it is someone else's fault. That is because a teacher, brother, sister, friend or parent is making me feel bad because they are not doing what "I" want them to do. Yes, I sometimes look outside myself to make an excuse for what his happening in my feelings inside me. Only "I" am to blame for what I feel and think inside me, just like the same is true for everyone else. Yet however difficult these many people act around me, I could do a great deal to make myself feel better by looking at my own actions and not the actions of everyone else.

Today's Reminder
I will examine my own attitudes and behaviors and face the fact that much of what I do - or leave undone - contributes to me not being happy. Like sometimes other people around me, I, too, have an unrecognized sense of guilt which I could overcome by correcting what I find wrong with me. My first job is to stop fooling myself, stop excusing my own shortcomings.

"If we say that we have no fault, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." (1st Epistle of John)

[Taken and fashioned from "One Day At A Time In Alinon" in the interest of family relationships, by Jim Hogue, MA, MFTI, (2-4)]